I woke up in a car.

I don’t even know how the fuck to start this post. All I know is that tonight was one of the worst nights in a very very long time. And I’m not even going to tell you what happened. Instead, please allow me to make a list of the things that I know are true right now.

  1. I’m invisible. I always have been, and always will be, and nothing I or anyone else says or does will ever change that.
  2. I’m such a freak, I can’t even fit it with people who are exactly like me.
  3. I will never fall in love. No guy will ever want me. Ever.
  4. I’m a fucking loser.
  5. I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life.
  6. I need to lose like 403346340 pounds.
  7. I’m untalented and the least funny person in the world.
  8. The only person who seemed remotely interested in talking to me all night was the drunk guy out front.
  9. The ink in my tattoo bled. 
  10. I should have just kept cutting.
  11. Nobody will ever understand.

And the 12th, and most important one of all: I will always fucking be second best. Always. I will never be anyone’s first choice. I will never be the popular girl. I will never be the girl everyone likes. I will never be invited to a party. I will never meet a guy stupid enough to love me.

I’m a worthless pile of nothingness.

And I’m getting dangerously - and I mean dangerously - close to hopping right back on that train to insanity. I’m going mad. I really am.

Fuck everything and everyone. Leave me here to die with my headphones in.

5 months ago  Notes (0)