i swim for brighter days.

ever feel like you were just born to be unhappy? like no matter how good your life is, you’re happiness will forever be nonexistent? like you’ve just been drenched in this everlasting state of unluckiness? i do. everyday.

sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever even do anything with my life, or if i’ll just stay the way i am. disgustingly fat, lonely, boring, unwanted, and forever in second place. i keep acting like i know what i’m doing here, but the truth is that i’m completely lost. i’ve completely lost my sanity, and because i put on this brave face and act like i’m content and like i know exactly what i really want, people assume that my emotions are in check. but they aren’t. and the worst part about all of this is the constant feeling of inadequecy that never goes away. it rips me apart.

so don’t let me go
just let me know
that growing up goes slow.